The time for come has change

Except I can't whistle... heh.

I really need to do something on this page; I'm still on the site a lot but I am just generally lazy and facebook and twitter have claimed my soul and can't find an occasion to post a journal really. Even though I've got shitloads of photos I want to upload but eh :/

I just dyed my hair again for tomorrow (and generally for shits and giggles) because I am going to a bizarre club party in London tomorrow evening. Although not so much bizarre as laughable. But eh, did I have any morals anyway?

It is the most outrageously scene gig since Millioncyde were allowed on the Warped Tour (yes, I am still an awful lurker... yes) but I want to laugh at their hair and make-up and clothes and children so badly. 

mmm... classy.

Although on the plus-side, they promise unicorn rides, girls with too many bows in their hair, goths protesting outside (...), babycakes girls not wearing any pants (i.e. my type of party) and of course random owls flying around.

I am part terrified and part excited, but more terrified than anything I guess. I'll be satisfied as long as there isn't a "powercut" and it turns into failnight all over again.

I just got a call from my dad, who is at the hospital, who told me that my grandpa just died. He (my dad's dad) was rushed to intensive care on Wednesday: he started getting better, but today he got worse and this evening my dad got a phone call from his sister and he had to rush off straight away as it seemed that he wasn't going to make it. And of course he didn't 

This sucks because:

->My Grandpa was a great guy who was always singing and telling stories of his time in the war and when he worked in Saudi Arabia. He'll be sorely missed. Especially by my grandma to whom he had been married to for over 60 years.

->My dad is absolutely devastated and my mum is currently working in spain so she can't comfort him--that's my job now.

->Today was my dad's birthday

 

Yeah so I understand this might be inappropriate or whatever, but I just want some sort of comfort or something, because I haven't told anyone irl yet and I'm not sure I want to, even though i'm going to a double party tomorrow: no need to ruin 2 birthday parties at once. Grandpa: we'll miss you.

:'D

All I need to do now is to find a COSTUME.

(!!!)

Guys, it's 2.15 in the morning and I've just finished watching BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN for the first time. And I can't stop BLUBBERING. So please excuse my wet-fish-ness, or whatever. And possible spoilers.

AAAAAAAAAH SO SAD :'''''''((((((
THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!
Just...
THE MASSIVE TIMEHOPS AND THEM GETTING OLD AND THEIR KIDS GROWING UP BUT IT'S NOT A HAPPY EVER AFTER LIKE HARRY POTTER OMG x___x
THE JACKET
JACK
THE LETTER
JACK'S PARENTS
THE TRAILER
THE GAY

*Flap flap flap*

What makes it worse is that Jack looked just like Frank Iero, you know, the shorty one? Just... THEY LOOK ALIKE OKAY? And then he got a moustache and pudge. AND THEN HE DIED ;____;
LET'S NOT EVER LET FRANK NEAR A RANCH OR THE TYRE OR WHATEVER IT WAS, DEAL?

AND ENNIS, HEATH. OMG. SO SAAAAD. WHEN HE FOUND THE JACKET I WAS JUST *collapses into tears*. AND THEN HOW HE'LL PROBABLY ALWAYS BE SINGLE AND IN THAT TARILER AND THINKING OF JACK WHEN REALLY IN REAL LIFE IT'S HEATH WHO'S DEAD AND REALLY DEAD AND NOT JUST IN A MOVIE. :'''''''[
AND NOW NOT EVEN WATCHING SOME DUDE PLAYING "THE FINAL COUNTDOWN" ON A KAZOOKEYLELE WILL MAKE ME FEEL HAPPIER.
IF YOU GUYS STILL LISTEN TO WHATEVER CRAP I SAY AFTER THIS, I HAVE TO ADMIRE YOU. THAT TAKES REAL COURAGE AND DETERMINATION I SAY. I SALUTE YOU, OR WHATEVER.

SO IN CONCLUSION: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA D''''X

*OUT*

Where do we go from here?
...
And where is my certificate of automatic maturity that comes with being 14? That's what happens right?
...
Wait, WHAT.
What do you mean it's not valid on the internet??

I spent this weekend in a car driving from Spain back to England in a car too small to stretch my legs or anything. Because of this I couldn't get to sleep, so I ended up only having about 2 1/2 hours sleep.

Second: last night, I fell asleep (in my bed!) fully dressed. Watch, ponytail, jeans and all.

I can haz TRL feature nao?

earlysunsets02: i had some scrambled eggs with cheese
earlysunsets02: yum
dundunduuun: you aren't by any chance a robot?
dundunduuun: oooh, thjat sounds nice =D
dundunduuun: I had strange meals
earlysunsets02: ummmmm....you know nothing *robot dans*
dundunduuun: O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
dundunduuun: I had a ham and slad sammich for breakfast and baked beans and scrambled eggs on toast for lunch
earlysunsets02: wow....thats quite a meal
earlysunsets02: and what the hell is slad?
dundunduuun: I know... slad=the shit
dundunduuun: s.r.s.lyyy
earlysunsets02: what is slad though?? is this more of your spanish-brit foods???
dundunduuun: well, in this case it is lettuce and tomato... you have those in Kentucky fried chicken land, right?
earlysunsets02: like is it like ground up foods?
dundunduuun: uhm, does the term "salad" ring any bells?
earlysunsets02: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH *HEADDESKHEADDESKHEADDESK*
dundunduuun: XD XD XD XD XD
dundunduuun: I'm snickering so badly. right. nao
dundunduuun: XD
earlysunsets02: school has taken all thats left of my braaain
dundunduuun: yep, it'll do that all right XD
dundunduuun: oooooh man
dundunduuun: I'm saving this conversation

... Because we're just that cool lame.

MY LAPTOP IS ACKNOWLEDGING MY CARD READER.
THIS (in theory) MEANS THAT I CAN NOW UPLOAD PHOTOS.
THEREFORE ALL CAPS IS NECESSARY.

w00!

So, today I was in the car with my mum, on the way to the hairdresser's (more about that later). We were travelling along the A1 of Spain (ie. el autovia del norte), which is a very busy road where people tend to drive very quickly on.
There is a point to this, I swear.

So as we neared a point in the motorway near to were we lived, we noticed there was all of a sudden an "instant" traffic jam on the opposite way. We were a bit miffed as we had to later drive down there to get home. But then we noticed why.
There had been a road accident there just minutes, maybe even seconds, before we had got there.

Somehow, a man in a silver car had skidded of the road and had ended up in a ditch in between the two sides of the road (there was no barrier at that particular point).
His car was half crushed.
He was still in said car.
And he was waving his arm (his other seemed to be trapped) to the passers by for help.
And he looked terrified and in tremendous pain.
It was a rather terrifying sight, too.

We stopped in the middle of the road as there didn't seem to be anyone there helping him yet (luckily more people were coming at the same time as my mum). I didn't know what to do so I stayed in the car.

What also creeped me out was that the road around us was covered in debris and broken car parts.
And that just in front of us was another car which had crashed into the barrier in the middle of the two roads, with the bonnet and windscreen destroyed. It didn't seem as bad as the other, but it shook us nonetheless.

We didn't stay there long as the police arrived shortly after. So we drove off not long after.
I couldn't stop thinking about what I had just seen.
The desperate man's face as he begged for help.
I had never seen anything like it before.

And I don't think I will be able to forget it for a while.

Sorry about the melodramaticness, guys. But this shook me and I wanted to share it. LULZness shall return before you can say "ZOMGredhairz"; or, whatever.

... when one realises that one is growing up when one is not offered a free balloon at restaurants anymore.

It's... somewhat heartbreaking.

One should compensate by wearing furry leopard-print earmuffs. As I am.

So, it appears that I have now been on Buzznet for a whole year, making today (4th of August 2008) my 1st Buzzday!
Can you believe it?
I can't really.
So now, you're going to sit through me rambling on my very own Buzz story.
I think that some sort of sugary snack is in order here.

**

Last summer, I was pitifully bored. All my friends had gone on holiday or left me forever without turning back. So, I turned to fuelling my addiction, which was some band that you might have heard of. Maybe. O yah.



Not them again!

I wanted to see every photo, watch and read every interview, and Buzznet was the site that came up every time I searched in Google. I would spend my afternoons (I don't do mornings, psssh), evenings and nights flicking through the MCR community, wishing I could comment. I remember that one day, I stumbled over a Youtube video posted by Millieann282000 of the MCR show in Madrid I attended (!!!!). It just so happened to be a video of someone I knew on Youtube who had been there too. But she didn't get credit.
So, I made an account soon later, meaning to tell Millieann28200 of this.
I never did.
But hey, I now had a Buzznet account!
ZOMG, what now??
Well.
Uh, not too much.

I posted a few photos and left a few comments and the odd note.

But regardless, I made a couple of friends: Lexidiem and Chloetraisnel, who both commented my stuff and talked to me when no-one would. Thanks guys! ;)

I’ve never really posted much, but I’ve come on Buzznet almost every day for the past year. I guess I would call it my haven, my getaway. Because it was always the same where ever I was or moved; when I moved school and country again, starting a new life, if you will. Buzznet was there whenever I needed an escape from reality.

I feel I have grown a lot as a person since joining, I read insightful journals that made me think and look at the world in a slightly different light even; I saw some arguments that also made me think about my attitude to others and other users as well; I found some truly inspiring people on here, even if I was too shy to approach them.

But I have met plenty of awesome people on here; some I have talked to loads, some very little, but I still think they rule: Chloe, Gemma, Kitty, Picturemedrowning, Mcrified, John, Stephanie and plenty more (sorry if I’ve missed you out D=).

AND OF COURSE MA TWINNIE JULIA. WHO RULES MORE THAN THE QUEEN, WHO RULES A LOT, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW. =D



Oh, and I take pride in saying that I successfully “converted” my real-life -former (=[)- maths buddy, Izzi, to Buzznet. Even if she doesn’t go on here too often, I know she’s watching me. 0_0

I don’t know if it sounds weird if I say I may have got confidence from my friends on here, but I know at least one thing: I get a happy feeling inside whenever I log on and on my little sidebar it says: “New Note” or “New comment to me”, however loser-ish that may make me sound. And you know what really makes me feel fuzzy inside? When people actually laugh at my jokes or comments, and even call me hilarious. Hell, once I got 2 new awesome (sorry, I’m running out of good adjectives here) friends from just one comment. How cool (...sorry) is that?

But all in all, I’ve enjoyed almost every single moment I’ve spent here on Buzznet. Whether it be meeting friends, admiring amazing talent, getting inspired, bringing and receiving the LULZ, finding out different points of views, experiencing the verbal equivalent of bashing Gerard Way over the head with an inflatable mallet or just chatting.

I have plenty of online accounts: I have a Youtube channel, Bebo, Facebook, Livejournal and more. Yet Buzznet is the only one that I come back to everyday. ILY BUZZNET. HAVE SOME CAKE. :)

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

I nicked this idea from Chloe and Kitty.

"1. List some things you want to say to 10 different people but you don’t know how.
2. Don’t say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don’t confirm or answer anything.
4. This is in no particular order at all

These are people that you may or may not know. Gotta keep the mystery going."

Ok, here goes *deep breath*:

1. I’m confused. I don’t know whether I should be nice to you or not. I don’t know whether I should hate you or not; be your enemy, or not. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen your ‘type’ before; the type that only come to you when they need something- for themselves. The type that say they’ll keep in contact with you but will just throw you away like an old sweet wrapper once you are of no use. Well, prove me wrong. Prove that you can be a good friend. I don’t want to be crushed again.

2. So, yeah, we don’t go together. At all. I don’t miss you, sorry. You’re manipulative; you influenced my life- for the worse. You called me a nerd for getting better marks than you- I stopped trying and got bad marks on purpose as a result. You encouraged me to lose weight- I became paranoid about my body. Well done. Do you want a medal?
You don’t seem to know just how you manipulate people’s lives- I really hope you do one day. I was a fool to call you a friend- you made me miserable. I felt so much better without you and I still do. And I’m not sad that I’ll never see you again.

3. Away from the negativity for a minute.
You’re a great person! The sad thing is- I don’t know whether you would like me in real life- we’re very different. But the differences I feel are only skin deep. You know, one day, I would love to go sightseeing with you- in London. We will take silly photos and get wet in the rain. It’ll be great fun. I can always dream, can’t I?

4. I hate you. There, I said it. You’re the type I described in number one- except, it isn’t a maybe, it isn’t a question: it is you. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I wish I had. Sure, we had fun together, but that is over- shadowed by what you did later on. I doubt you’re actually reading this, so I’ll tell everyone the story, shall I?
So we were friends as kids- sort of. I only saw you a handful of times a year, that’s probably why we weren’t so attached at the time- but that changed. We both moved to Madrid- to the same place, to the same school, at the same time; a cruel coincidence. So we became close friends- I went to you for refuge, I saw you as a great friend, I went to you for advice, if something vaguely interesting happened in my life- you would be the first to hear. I needn’t have bothered.
Anyway, so it's the summer, three years since we first moved to Spain, you’re about to get on a plane to move to Scotland, you phone me, you tell me ‘oh, so many things have been happening in the last week’, blah, blah. You tell me you’ll phone me as soon as you land in Scotland, you hang up.
It’s several months later, I haven’t heard of you since. I’ve emailed you so many times, I’ve tried to phone you so many times- you didn’t give me a working phone number, remember?
But then, via youtube, you send me a message. You act as nothing has happened, you claim you tried to phone my house so many times- please, I’m not that stupid. When I try to ask what you have been doing while not bothering to phone me- you try to make it seem that I’m biting your head off. You then stop the conversation and say you’ll talk to me tomorrow. Now it’s been almost 6 months. I’m still waiting for a reply. Well, fuck you then.

5. Ah, yes. What are we going to do with you? Well, I would love to meet you, I know I will never get to know you properly- but I would love to meet you, nonetheless. And, despite what many people may say- I think you are a very good person. You may have said stupid things in the past- so have I. You may have done stupid things in the past- so have I. We’re all human; sometimes you make me want to bash my head against the wall, sometimes you make me want to hug you so dearly, and sometimes you just make me want to cringe. But hey, that’s life.

6. I suppose you’re my best friend now, yes? Maybe. Don’t get me wrong- you’re a really great person; you’re thoughtful, reliable, helpful and friendly. But our personalities just don’t really match. I’m fine with being friends with you- just not best friends. I need a friend who has at least somethings in common with me, someone who has some remotely similar interests to me- these thing you don’t have. But hey, let’s be friends.

7. So, this is a very similar situation to the one above- you’re supposed to be my best friend- in Spain. But, I don’t really know how to say this- but... you’re, weird. I don’t know really. You take things seriously that I don’t think matter at all, and vice versa. It’s a sad thing, but I severely doubt we’ll keep in contact. I already forgot to send you something for your birthday and lost the present you gave me (sorry!!). But you were there for me (normally) when I really needed someone at school; you annoyed me sometimes- but you were there, so thank you.

8. I don’t know you too well, and you have plenty of other friends that you would put before me- but I would like to meet you too. We would go to a mcr concert and laugh about nothing in particular, I guess. I would just like to get to know you, I’m sure we have many things in common and you always make me laugh. But, of course, there are always boundaries that probably can’t be crossed. You know, now that I think about it, this could apply to two people, haha.

9. Let’s just be loose friends, shall we? I don’t want to kick you out of my life, but sorry, you don’t really hold a special place in it anymore. You have been my best friend since we were so young- but as with many childhood friendships, it can’t last. People grow apart, it’s sad, I know, but it happens.

10. Same as above really, a bad case of growing apart. Either I’ve grown up too fast or you need to grow up. You’re still exactly the same person you were when I left more than 3 years ago- but I’m not. So, I doubt I’ll see you much (if ever) again. But, I guess it’s like what my parents say: ‘it's your secondary school friends that are the ones who stay with you forever, not your primary school ones’. Supposedly.

*

Holy fucking shit on a stick- that was long! I seem to have a talent that enables me to write about 5736782572574 times more than I intend to. Ah, well. At least I feel good for getting that off my chest.

Happy Easter, folks.
Ana xx

I'm going to make this short, mostly because I'm lazy, but I also don't want the same to happen as last time.

First things first, about the "Who needs real love?" journal thing. I spent almost 4 days (no, really, 4 days!) picking my top 10 and searching around the internet to try and find decent pictures of each of them. But then, disaster struck. When I was just about to finish *deep breath* my dad had to shut down or restart the computer or something so he could send an important fax to someone, so all of it was lost :'( I might try to do it again, notice the emphasis on the word "might", IF I have time, because at the moment, I am in a rather sticky situation.
I don't have a school to go to tomorrow. I should be happy, but I need a school to go to. And I'm moving countries with my dad and only my dad on Thursday morning. I'll miss a week or so of school while I'm moving, it'll be like a holiday, but I'll be staying there. I'll be driving there as well, so that means passing through France AGAIN. So Chloe, expect (maybe) some French-y pictures to be added to the "French kiss" group sometime when I get there. I always like to capture some nice sunsets, me 8) . So the bottom line is, I'll be absent from the internet for a few days starting on Thursday. But don't worry, I'll be back. (BWAHAHAHA X) )

Oh yeah, and I'm practically hating myself right now. The other day I went with my parents to the mountains, and I am seriously kicking myself for not taking my camera. There were the most beautiful views you have ever seen, mountains, valleys, forests, everything. You could see for miles and miles around the sierra (countryside). Well, if I plan to go there any time in the future I'll be sure to stick a post-it note on my head saying "Bring camera, dammit".
God bless my appalling memory.

Aanyways...

*sigh* Thanks to my useless rambling skills, I have now managed to make this "short" journal rather, well, not that short, ah well.
Take care,

X0X0
AB

Well,
if you're reading this,
you're on my page,
which is good,
good for you!

I'm basically here to chat with people who have the same interests as me, since it's the Summer holidays and I'm lonely because I live far away from everything and I REALLY miss my bestest buddy, who has just moved to Scotland *cries*.

And yeah, i know my user name is ever so slightly strange...

XOXO
AB